Black Men: Trials of Dating Black Women

[singleme]

Black women have built our community, Black women had to remain strong because they had to focus on community and raising children by themselves. Black men have abandoned Black women on many levels. We want to control them, if they do not need us we do not want them, we refuse to protect them against AIDS, we refuse to protect them in our communities, now we are comparing them to white women. We are comparing people who never left us, built our communities, remained strong because we wanted to remain weak. When we are successful we want a white woman on our arms, while the BW remains faithful. Now, BW are dating outside of our race. And that is good. I think for once she needs to choose herself, and put herself first instead of us.
Imus and that situation embarassed the shyt out of me, as Black men we attack him but we let rappers go. Black women are having a hard time outside of this country because of the degrading comments and videos by black men. Hip hop and its mentality(not all hip hop is bad) but the mentality of hip hop is complete ignorance. Suffering/Being poor does not equate degradation. It never did in our community until recently.

The problem with Black men, we want to blame our women for everything that is wrong. We want to hide in their faults.

Dig that shyt!!

[Tish-the-Scorpio n]

singleme wrote:

Black women have built our community, Black women had to remain strong because they had to focus on community and raising children by themselves. Black men have abandoned Black women on many levels. We want to control them, if they do not need us we do not want them, we refuse to protect them against AIDS, we refuse to protect them in our communities, now we are comparing them to white women. We are comparing people who never left us, built our communities, remained strong because we wanted to remain weak. When we are successful we want a white woman on our arms, while the BW remains faithful. Now, BW are dating outside of our race. And that is good. I think for once she needs to choose herself, and put herself first instead of us.
Imus and that situation embarassed the shyt out of me, as Black men we attack him but we let rappers go. Black women are having a hard time outside of this country because of the degrading comments and videos by black men. Hip hop and its mentality(not all hip hop is bad) but the mentality of hip hop is complete ignorance. Suffering/Being poor does not equate degradation. It never did in our community until recently.
The problem with Black men, we want to blame our women for everything that is wrong. We want to hide in their faults.
Dig that shyt!!

the faults of blacks goes far beyond gender,what you painted is a over simplification of the situation.

[Cuteblkdude]

singleme wrote:

Black women have built our community, Black women had to remain strong because they had to focus on community and raising children by themselves. Black men have abandoned Black women on many levels. We want to control them, if they do not need us we do not want them, we refuse to protect them against AIDS, we refuse to protect them in our communities, now we are comparing them to white women. We are comparing people who never left us, built our communities, remained strong because we wanted to remain weak. When we are successful we want a white woman on our arms, while the BW remains faithful. Now, BW are dating outside of our race. And that is good. I think for once she needs to choose herself, and put herself first instead of us.
Imus and that situation embarassed the shyt out of me, as Black men we attack him but we let rappers go. Black women are having a hard time outside of this country because of the degrading comments and videos by black men. Hip hop and its mentality(not all hip hop is bad) but the mentality of hip hop is complete ignorance. Suffering/Being poor does not equate degradation. It never did in our community until recently.
The problem with Black men, we want to blame our women for everything that is wrong. We want to hide in their faults.
Dig that shyt!!

Good post man!

[AquaCityBoy]

singleme wrote:

Black women have built our community, Black women had to remain strong because they had to focus on community and raising children by themselves. Black men have abandoned Black women on many levels. We want to control them, if they do not need us we do not want them, we refuse to protect them against AIDS, we refuse to protect them in our communities, now we are comparing them to white women. We are comparing people who never left us, built our communities, remained strong because we wanted to remain weak. When we are successful we want a white woman on our arms, while the BW remains faithful. Now, BW are dating outside of our race. And that is good. I think for once she needs to choose herself, and put herself first instead of us.
Imus and that situation embarassed the shyt out of me, as Black men we attack him but we let rappers go. Black women are having a hard time outside of this country because of the degrading comments and videos by black men. Hip hop and its mentality(not all hip hop is bad) but the mentality of hip hop is complete ignorance. Suffering/Being poor does not equate degradation. It never did in our community until recently.
The problem with Black men, we want to blame our women for everything that is wrong. We want to hide in their faults.
Dig that shyt!!

Of course. Everything wrong with black people is the men's fault. They can never do anything right, and the women always have to clean up their messes. Black men are all womanizing and leaving black women. Black men suck.

Jesus Christ...

[the wrath of karl]

singleme wrote:

Black women have built our community, Black women had to remain strong because they had to focus on community and raising children by themselves. Black men have abandoned Black women on many levels. We want to control them, if they do not need us we do not want them, we refuse to protect them against AIDS, we refuse to protect them in our communities, now we are comparing them to white women. We are comparing people who never left us, built our communities, remained strong because we wanted to remain weak. When we are successful we want a white woman on our arms, while the BW remains faithful. Now, BW are dating outside of our race. And that is good. I think for once she needs to choose herself, and put herself first instead of us.
Imus and that situation embarassed the shyt out of me, as Black men we attack him but we let rappers go. Black women are having a hard time outside of this country because of the degrading comments and videos by black men. Hip hop and its mentality(not all hip hop is bad) but the mentality of hip hop is complete ignorance. Suffering/Being poor does not equate degradation. It never did in our community until recently.
The problem with Black men, we want to blame our women for everything that is wrong. We want to hide in their faults.
Dig that shyt!!

You say black women have had to focus on building the community and raising families. Look at the great job they have done as well. Look at the state of African Americans in the 21st century. What great leaders black women have been, huh. I'm sure you can find a few success stories now and then, but for the most part, ladies, y'all fucked up

[Jillian Luva]

You all have bad issues. Black men and women create other broken individuals whether it be by the presence of mothers or the absence of fathers. Its a collective problem. Anyone looking for a scapegoat will pass the same filthy sickness on to their children. Is is not fair to say that black people in general have issues that need to be worked out? Women need to not be angry at men who scorned them because it destroys black boys..Agreed. Should more black men take an active role in the lives of their children...Agreed. This problem is ONLY present in people who fail to take responsibility. When you are in control you are not the victim of other people. That is where true enlightenment comes from and that is how people begin to make better choice in their life. To say that black women alone have destroyed the black community is laughable, to say the least. I like the ladies yall messed up part... I know I personally had no part in destroying anything that would effect your life.

On another note, I saw a dog with a prosthetic leg today and that was very cool. hmmm maybe some black women gnawed it off :-)

[Cuteblkdude]

the wrath of karl wrote:

<quoted text>
You say black women have had to focus on building the community and raising families. Look at the great job they have done as well. Look at the state of African Americans in the 21st century. What great leaders black women have been, huh. I'm sure you can find a few success stories now and then, but for the most part, ladies, y'all fucked up

Name one black man that is a successful as Oprah who isn't into rap or sports. Look at Ramen Simone. At her young age she is very successful. She also didn't have to play ball or sing rap music. So name one black man who is as successful as them and remember rap music and sports don't count, I'm waiting.

[the wrath of karl]

Cuteblkdude wrote:

<quoted text>
Name one black man that is a successful as Oprah who isn't into rap or sports. Look at Ramen Simone. At her young age she is very successful. She also didn't have to play ball or sing rap music. So name one black man who is as successful as them and remember rap music and sports don't count, I'm waiting.

Ok I'll name 2, A black astronomer named Neil Tyson
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7159345/
Dr. Ron Mallet. The brother is building a fucking TIME MACHINE!!!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/article... e_id=1965&expand=true

And here is one more free of charge

Bob Johnson, founder of Black Entertainment Television

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/...

I don't know much about Raven, being that she is so young. BUt what has Oprah done for the Black community. JACK SHIT!!! All she does is feed women lies about down low men giving them AIDS, then takes her money and builds a school for GIRLS in Africa. Like boys in Africa don't need to go to school as well. Hell, boys in America need to go to school, she could have build one in the good old USA. If you are not part on the solution, you are a part of the problem. Pussy!!!!

[Jillian Luva]

Oprah is the top donor to HBCU's every year. She can spend her money however she likes. Karl, your being ridiculous now. Her choices are not the reason more black people, boys particularly dont embrace education.

the wrath of karl wrote:

<quoted text>
Ok I'll name 2, A black astronomer named Neil Tyson
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7159345/
Dr. Ron Mallet. The brother is building a fucking TIME MACHINE!!!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/article... e_id=1965&expand=true
And here is one more free of charge
Bob Johnson, founder of Black Entertainment Television
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/...
I don't know much about Raven, being that she is so young. BUt what has Oprah done for the Black community. JACK SHIT!!! All she does is feed women lies about down low men giving them AIDS, then takes her money and builds a school for GIRLS in Africa. Like boys in Africa don't need to go to school as well. Hell, boys in America need to go to school, she could have build one in the good old USA. If you are not part on the solution, you are a part of the problem. Pussy!!!!

[the wrath of karl]

Jillian Luva wrote:

Oprah is the top donor to HBCU's every year. She can spend her money however she likes. Karl, your being ridiculous now. Her choices are not the reason more black people, boys particularly dont embrace education.
<quoted text>

Since when do boys not value education? It's that thinking right there that is the problem. How many black boys go to school, wanting to learn, only to have that little candle snuffed out because some teacher (most likely a women) thinks that boys don't value education. Knowing that we live in a racist society, that purposely make it hard for black men to acheive, we have to work twice as hard to have the same as these crackers And how am I being ridiculous. Instead of helping her brothers and sisters in the good old US of A , she goes to another country, another fucking continent, to give them money, yet she sits on her high horse condemning us.

[pussycatt0411]

Cuteblkdude wrote:

<quoted text>
Name one black man that is a successful as Oprah who isn't into rap or sports. Look at Ramen Simone. At her young age she is very successful. She also didn't have to play ball or sing rap music. So name one black man who is as successful as them and remember rap music and sports don't count, I'm waiting.

Her name is Raven Symone'

[Jillian]

Oprah had one show that was about down low brothers... You forget, A Black man wrote the book! As far as who Oprah helps, why would you be against any type of support she offers to children in need? The reason she set the school up in Africa and for only girls is because they have absolutely no opportunity. The boys of the family are sent to school while the girls stay home and work. I don't know if you bothered to watch, but these girls had nothing, not even food in the refrigerator. She initially was going to build the school in the US but was discouraged after several trips to Black schools and asking Black kids what they wanted. They all said Jordans and Ipods..surprised? Its not Oprah's job to fix the world and thats not a task that one person alone can complete. No woman snuffed out the dreams of education for all of Black men... How do you figure? Why don't you get rich and build institutions to protect black boys from a society that ruins them? Why don't some of these rich male athletes? Going further, there are some black males out there who DO value education, but come to NYC and walk the street while school is in session and you tell me how much they value it. Instead, you'll see many of them playing basketball like its a full time job.. You cant blame them though, its what they know. These kids get ruined loooong before they set foot into a classroom. The only people to blame are their parents for not having an education themselves to actually SHOW their kids how it can pay off. You cant sit here and put the blame on one person or on women. Where are the boys fathers? Everyone has to take a part in accepting responsibility for the catastrophe black people are in right now. Racism isn't going anywhere and things will not be changing anytime soon, so I suggest people suck it up and do what they've got to do get what they want out of this life. The best way to start is by taking responsibility for the outcome of your own life instead of looking for people to blame. Nobody is riding in on some horse to save any of us. You have to save yourself.

the wrath of karl wrote:

<quoted text>
Since when do boys not value education? It's that thinking right there that is the problem. How many black boys go to school, wanting to learn, only to have that little candle snuffed out because some teacher (most likely a women) thinks that boys don't value education. Knowing that we live in a racist society, that purposely make it hard for black men to acheive, we have to work twice as hard to have the same as these crackers And how am I being ridiculous. Instead of helping her brothers and sisters in the good old US of A , she goes to another country, another fucking continent, to give them money, yet she sits on her high horse condemning us.

[lone thinker]

So this is gonna turn into some man bashing thread? Man some people are pathetic. It's a shame they don't wanna listen to anything you wanna say Karl. These people are gonna keep generalizing and yet still deny the truth when it smacks them right in the face. Get off your high horses and quit blaming black men for your shortcomings.

[the wrath of karl]

lone thinker wrote:

So this is gonna turn into some man bashing thread? Man some people are pathetic. It's a shame they don't wanna listen to anything you wanna say Karl. These people are gonna keep generalizing and yet still deny the truth when it smacks them right in the face. Get off your high horses and quit blaming black men for your shortcomings.

I mentioned a black man who is building a time machine, and I get nothing. Trying to work with some of these black women is like a Jew trying to work with a Nazi. They don't want to hear anything we have to say. They hate us, period point blank. They don't want peace, they want to fight. Well then fine. I don't want peace either. I prefer to crush you.

Not speaking to the good black women. Only the bad ones.

[Jillian]

Thats where you're wrong. I don't blame anybody. These are all collective problems. But the more you come up here and try to shove all the sh!t on black women, its just going to turn into blame game. I agree with some of the points Karl makes because I know what he is getting at. But the path is cloudy and its far too easy to easy to say black women its your fault. Boys in general have different needs than girls, especially in school. I spent 4 years working as a preschool teacher and I myself know the differences are striking. But to put it out there like some woman is crushing the spirit of black boys is garbage. Most boys grow up lost because they don't have black role models setting examples of what black manhood is. Basketball players are not enough, Rappers damn sure are not either. All these problems will cease when Black people start giving black babies more solid foundations to grow on. In order to raise great kids who are leaders, they've got to stop coming up in broken, drug addicted, poverty infested homes. Bottom line.

lone thinker wrote:

So this is gonna turn into some man bashing thread? Man some people are pathetic. It's a shame they don't wanna listen to anything you wanna say Karl. These people are gonna keep generalizing and yet still deny the truth when it smacks them right in the face. Get off your high horses and quit blaming black men for your shortcomings.

[singleme]

Tish-the-Scorpion wrote:

<quoted text>the faults of blacks goes far beyond gender,what you painted is a over simplification of the situation.

simplication? I do not agree. Black women are doing it, to be honest about it. My mother, my grandmother, my aunts raised me, educated me, while they worked, supported our churches, supported my family, and supported my community.

The problem? Our race take up for Black men and their behaviors. That is the problem. I see Black women educating themselves are awesome rates, Black men are not doing the same. As a Black society, what we tolerate from men we would never tolerate from women. And it shows. As a society, we have to stop being afraid to attack men's wrong. And I do not put that responsibility on the women in our society. As Black women, you have done enough, Black women have supported us with nothing, raised us without supported in anyway, and honestly we owe you. We owe it to our children. And we owe it to ourselves.

In my family alone, the women in my family are excelling, they are finishing school, becoming educated, buying businesses, becoming ministers, teacher, doctors, but the men are failing. As men, we do not challenge other men to do what is 'owe to you'. We do not challenge other men negative behavior, we just let it go. The community we have, the churches we have, the schools we have, is because of you.

In my life, I have failed in many things, in many ways, but it was the Black woman that always supported me, inspired me, pushed me, got in my ass to do better.

As women, as BW. In my opinion, the problem with you, is that you do not know your worth. Your worth to our community is uncomprehensable. So, no, Ms. Scorpion, I do not agree with you.

[King]

the wrath of karl wrote:

<quoted text>
Ok I'll name 2, A black astronomer named Neil Tyson
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7159345/
Dr. Ron Mallet. The brother is building a fucking TIME MACHINE!!!!!
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/article... e_id=1965&expand=true
And here is one more free of charge
Bob Johnson, founder of Black Entertainment Television
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/...
I don't know much about Raven, being that she is so young. BUt what has Oprah done for the Black community. JACK SHIT!!! All she does is feed women lies about down low men giving them AIDS, then takes her money and builds a school for GIRLS in Africa. Like boys in Africa don't need to go to school as well. Hell, boys in America need to go to school, she could have build one in the good old USA. If you are not part on the solution, you are a part of the problem. Pussy!!!!

exactly!!
lol y'all gotta love Karl man!!

[singleme]

Benny Blakk wrote:

<quoted text>
You have got to be kidding me!

I am not kidding, lol. We owe our women. We could not have survived slavery, segration, jim crow laws, lynching without our women. Black women have never abandoned us, never left us, supported us, and never failed us.

I know, we are living in a society that promotes weakness in BM. Black society would rather find fault in our women, call our women out of her name, hide our own faults by pointing out hers, while our community fail. I see more and more Black women dating outside the race. And honestly I do not like it. I saw one sister braiding her boyfriend's hair(white guy). I felt like he was coming into my territory. This practice is recent. In our history in this country, Black women never abandon us as men or her family. And she never sold us out. However, we are selling her out, because we want to remain 'childlike'. We are selling her out with the Hip Hop mentality, degrading her for the white man's dallor.

Outside of our race? No other men would allow their men to degrade their women. I remember Andrew Dice Clay. His comic routine degraded his woman, I knew as a white society they would never allow such behavior, and even the flat bread commerical fron Hardees'. They took off the air. Because, like all men know, if they allow degrading comments and images of their women to continue, the entire society will be disrespected.

As men, we are a joke. The DL behavior have exposed our women to AIDS. Black women are getting AIDS by our lies. We are not considering them, our community,or our children. WE ARE SOLELY LOOKING AT SELF. No other community, race, would allow it.

Listen, I remember my grandfather telling me, that he had always had a pretty good relationship with the white people in his community. This was the south about 40 years ago. He never had problems with them until he became seriously involved with his girlfriend(my grandmother). In that town, public display of affection between Black couples was not allowed. Grow up!! The hip hop mentality, the videos, and its message against our women is a slave mentality, is of an uncle tom's mind. If you look at 'blackface' and its examples of 'blacklove' and 'black relationship', it is similar to today's hip hop videos.

As men, we need to put our women and our family first. Black women have given us everything, and men that support them, choose them, and produce a safe society for them is what they deserve.

[singleme]

the wrath of karl wrote:

<quoted text>
You say black women have had to focus on building the community and raising families. Look at the great job they have done as well. Look at the state of African Americans in the 21st century. What great leaders black women have been, huh. I'm sure you can find a few success stories now and then, but for the most part, ladies, y'all fucked up

You proven my point. You have a slave mentality and an uncle tom's mind about our women. You discuss female Black leaders, I think they are coming up. Women rights, was a product of the 70's?,lol. And I hope more and more women flex their intelligence and get in the position of power. I am completely supporting them on that front. But I am not talking about women responsiblity to our community, I am talking about Black men responsiblity to our community. Black women have always supported our community, supported her family, never abandoned us, never left us, and always loved us. I do not mean to sound, sexist, but women are emotionally more intelligent than men(my opinion). I really do not understand or comprehend a complete loyalty to us, to our community, to our children, even when we as men fail them in so many ways.

When we hide behind women's faults, when we point the finger at her sexuality, degrade her, etc. We will remain weak. As men, women are not our peers, the Arab man, the white man, the indian man, the chinese man are our peers. In their community, public degradation of their women would not exist. Men outside of our race would not tolerate it. Our job? Protect our women, protect our children, and produce a enviornment that gives them opportunities.

[soul brother in London]

Jillian wrote:

Thats where you're wrong. I don't blame anybody. These are all collective problems. But the more you come up here and try to shove all the sh!t on black women, its just going to turn into blame game. I agree with some of the points Karl makes because I know what he is getting at. But the path is cloudy and its far too easy to easy to say black women its your fault. Boys in general have different needs than girls, especially in school. I spent 4 years working as a preschool teacher and I myself know the differences are striking. But to put it out there like some woman is crushing the spirit of black boys is garbage. Most boys grow up lost because they don't have black role models setting examples of what black manhood is. Basketball players are not enough, Rappers damn sure are not either. All these problems will cease when Black people start giving black babies more solid foundations to grow on. In order to raise great kids who are leaders, they've got to stop coming up in broken, drug addicted, poverty infested homes. Bottom line.
<quoted text>

Hello sister jillian, you have a point, but wealthy people spoil their children too, look at what the menendez brothers did to their parents. Drugs is in every community, its just that they don't shout about it the way that we do, wouldn't you agree. Some mothers are bad mothers, not all mothers, but some, just like there are bad fathers too. What you have to understand my friend is that when it comes to doing wrong things, it starts with the perception of life, and sometimes the limitation comes in the mind, because the parents put it there. I have grown up in a home like that, my mother, who I adored, put me down like I was a thief, trod on my confidence, and I have never done drugs, or even drink, or been to jail, but she kept putting me down all the time, when I disagreed with what she had said, and that nearly messed me up psycologically and spiritually too. A child don't just know how to behave, he will see it from his parents perspective, and I am glad that others that I kept company with, loved me, and that's how I kept out of trouble, but some parents don't know how powerful their words are. I agree with somethings that you say, but I will tell you this, if a lot more parents got behind their children instead of comparing them to others, the results would be much better in their lives and we would have better communities in doing things to preserve and not destroy each other when we feel that we are being threatened. What do you think sister? I know that your a positive person and I would like to provide a solution in word or practise.

soul brother