How to keep my BLACK MAN happy

“I am an awesome person”

Level 7

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#286 Oct 21, 2013
Blaq honey wrote:
<quoted text> HA HA my new man is black but from the islands and please continue to use that excuse Tim most of you IRBM do a lot of falling short in the daddy department. And lol there are PLENTY of bm who make a fool out of themselves in the " reality department" as well. I don't even watch scandal lol! And stay with Becky happy for you you think white is right so enjoy yourself
LOL!!!!!!! Ask my kids what they think of me? I have always been in their lives even though their mother tried her best to keep me out of their lives. I spent thousands of dollars in court just to get visitation to see my kids and I know plenty of other BM that were in worse situations than mine. So don't call all or even most of us BM deadbeats, that's the trick BW use all the time. I know more deadbeat moms than Dad's. Any Mother that deliberately tries to keep a man from a relationship with his kids is a Deadbeat. BW try and use the courts to keep a BM from his kids then turn around and call him a deadbeat, it's the oldest trick on the book. Some WW do this also but not to the level of BW.

“Karma”

Level 3

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#288 Oct 21, 2013
Stop lying Tim LOL and be my friend today and tell me what I can do to keep this ninja happy lol!!
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#290 Oct 21, 2013
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>

Maybe if more BW would learn to act a bit more like WW in some ways while being more genuine in other ways, BM would be loyal to them too.
Maybe you should use AW as the standard because WM aren't loyal to WW when it comes to AW..and WW have the highest divorce rates with both BM and WW..WW aren't the standard when it comes to keeping a man...they have their own problems.
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#291 Oct 21, 2013
* both BM and WM
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#293 Oct 21, 2013
As for the thread's question..there is nothing a woman can do...the responsibility belongs to the individual man.. he's a free spirit with free will like all of us. Everyone is responsible for developing his own character,moral standards/convictions, belief systems, integrity, etc.
If he's a loyal, respectable, honest, good man...he will be that with or without you..and if you're not quality..he'll leave you..not come out of character and make you responsible for it...
Women should understand if you have a man who loves YOU (your spirit/soul...the real YOU)..none of the superficial really matters..as we all seen men treat old, ugly, fat, whores, mean women like gold when he loves HER..and young, gorgeous, virgins, kind women have been treated like trash because he DIDN'T love her..

Women have to stop wasting time on men who don't love them..you pick a man who loves you..and your "job" because 100 times easier..as there is practically nothing you can do wrong in this guy's eyes..the opposite is true for a man who doesn't love you..you will be constantly jumping through hoops to keep him entertain/interested...I mean happy when there is no love..
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#294 Oct 21, 2013
*becomes 100 times
*his eyes
*constantly be jumping
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#295 Oct 21, 2013
Speaking of respect...
It's very important for men to get from women..about as much as it is for women to get love from men..they go hand in hand as the Bible tells us..Men love your wife and women respect your husband..

However..both love/respect cannot be faked..you have to "stimulate" each out of the other...although love and respect can be freely given and earned "in general" on some level..usually deeper levels of these two are genuinely established by inspiration of some sort..
Bridgette

Memphis, TN

#297 Oct 21, 2013
Mr Napz wrote:
<quoted text>
You're right that some of these responses are basic and just plain silly however this should point to our problem with our attitudes.
Answers like "she needs to stay in shape" or "she needs to be a dime" are what not in touch with what it really takes to make a relationship work. So, say they meet a woman who is in shape, she has their children and gets big...they are going to leave her and their family because "she isn't in shape anymore" ??? Sounds pretty ridiculous to me and in my opinion, shows a flaw in the thinking of some black men.
I'm not saying that people date who they are not attracted to but the problem I see with a lot of single black men and women today is that they have lost touch with the reality of what it takes to make a relationship work and that is why they are not marriage material. That is also why talks like these are necessary because these basic answers need to be called out for the shallowness that they are.
These people need to wake up. None of them are supermodels and if some are, they are not going to stay supermodels for ever. Life happens and if people don't have something more concrete to value about their partner other than looks and material goods, they had better prepare for a long single life or a loveless marriage for years to come.
When someone naturally thinks in a "shallow" way, I do not believe they can change to become a person who thinks with more breadth. I think it is impossible for them to see the world in any other way outside of shallowness and selfishess. As a result, because they are pushed so much, they sometime imitate those who are naturally less shallow/selfish, but because it isn't genuine the process and acting doesn't last long at all. Shallow people tend to be very selfish people with an inability to think beyond what's seen and felt. They are overly consumed with their lower senses and hedonisism is usually a lifestyle they believe in.

It takes all kinds to make the world so I don't say this to say these people have no place in the world; however, we must stop as a population from trying to box these people in to an elevated sense of being when they in large measure aren't interested nor capable. The best solution is not continuing with these basic conversations regarding the most of intimae matters, but time would be better spent in identifying character traits which simply are counterproductive to a healthy and loving relationship before involvement with these people and just use them for the cheap or empty thrills.

These type conversations give these people legitimacy in an area of life where they simply have no legitimacy. It's time our society accepts this and the limited role these people should play regarding family and social life.

These people should be encouraged to do nothing more than what they are capable of. These people are generally good for short term thrills but they lack the ability to connect in more "human" ways imo. We should not feed shallow people in the way in which we do.

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#298 Oct 21, 2013
Lisa wrote:
As for the thread's question..there is nothing a woman can do...the responsibility belongs to the individual man.. he's a free spirit with free will like all of us. Everyone is responsible for developing his own character,moral standards/convictions, belief systems, integrity, etc.
If he's a loyal, respectable, honest, good man...he will be that with or without you..and if you're not quality..he'll leave you..not come out of character and make you responsible for it...
Women should understand if you have a man who loves YOU (your spirit/soul...the real YOU)..none of the superficial really matters..as we all seen men treat old, ugly, fat, whores, mean women like gold when he loves HER..and young, gorgeous, virgins, kind women have been treated like trash because he DIDN'T love her..
Women have to stop wasting time on men who don't love them..you pick a man who loves you..and your "job" because 100 times easier..as there is practically nothing you can do wrong in this guy's eyes..the opposite is true for a man who doesn't love you..you will be constantly jumping through hoops to keep him entertain/interested...I mean happy when there is no love..
Love, honor nor respect is a government entitlement program, nor is the process of earning a man's love a Disney production; a woman, just as the case with a man, MUST MERIT HIS LOVE, HONOR AND RESPECT.

The quality of a man's "goodness" is not determined by some self absurbed, narrow minded, narcissistic woman who grades a man's quality of being by how much and how often he bows, scraps and capitulates to her massive ego. Nor is it determined by his sacrificing his own wants, needs and aspirations to hers; his life has meaning as well. A man's value is not based EXCLUSIVELY on what he does for a woman.

Only an foolish arrogant women would presume to know the inner sanctum of the masculine mine and what inspires and motivates his love for women when she herself has never been a man. Only an emotional child with no real experience in love would assert that "when a man loves you" he would just accept anything from you. For if there is a herd dumb enough to follow this advice, you will be guilty of gross dereliction and criminal negligence because your advice would be consigning them to an empty romantic life of hardship, frustration, and loneliness.

Love is not a magic bullet or an elixir that delivers upon demand, nor is it a panacea for all of the problems in the world. It is merit based and must be maintained through effort and deeds, not empty rhetoric extracted from some romantic novel. Any love you offer with that mentality is empty of giving and loaded with selfish expectations; it is a lazy woman's love that only a masochistic fool would lend himself to.

Postscript:
Feel free to continue to lacerate my pride and worth with those deadly emotional scars that you are inflicting upon me with those negative icons on all of my post. They are having devastating effect upon me. Silly rabbit!

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#299 Oct 21, 2013
Lisa wrote:
Speaking of respect...
It's very important for men to get from women..about as much as it is for women to get love from men..they go hand in hand as the Bible tells us..Men love your wife and women respect your husband..
However..both love/respect cannot be faked..you have to "stimulate" each out of the other...although love and respect can be freely given and earned "in general" on some level..usually deeper levels of these two are genuinely established by inspiration of some sort..
Your evil azz ran around here for years calling people coons, baboons and apes; disrespecting every fiber of black masculinity and manhood, but now suddenly, you are the expert on reciprocal love and respect? You've got to be kidding me...you are fcking delusional. God bless the fool who subjects himself to up as you go rules....because he will need it!

Level 7

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#300 Oct 21, 2013
And for God's sake enough already with you grading your own post with your thousand of accounts trying to foster the impression that there exist a ground swell of agreement and support behind your nonsense.

“I am an awesome person”

Level 7

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#301 Oct 21, 2013
Blaq honey wrote:
Stop lying Tim LOL and be my friend today and tell me what I can do to keep this ninja happy lol!!
This is what I mean BW have tunnel vision to reality, and why do you have to call him a ninja? Already showing disrespect, the man has a name. I would never go out with a woman who called me ninja that's what's wrong with you Black Females today, smh

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#302 Oct 21, 2013
Lisa wrote:
As for the thread's question..there is nothing a woman can do...the responsibility belongs to the individual man.. he's a free spirit with free will like all of us. Everyone is responsible for developing his own character,moral standards/convictions, belief systems, integrity, etc.
If he's a loyal, respectable, honest, good man...he will be that with or without you..and if you're not quality..he'll leave you..not come out of character and make you responsible for it...
Women should understand if you have a man who loves YOU (your spirit/soul...the real YOU)..none of the superficial really matters..as we all seen men treat old, ugly, fat, whores, mean women like gold when he loves HER..and young, gorgeous, virgins, kind women have been treated like trash because he DIDN'T love her..
Women have to stop wasting time on men who don't love them..you pick a man who loves you..and your "job" because 100 times easier..as there is practically nothing you can do wrong in this guy's eyes..the opposite is true for a man who doesn't love you..you will be constantly jumping through hoops to keep him entertain/interested...I mean happy when there is no love..
The Bible also says the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat it's fruit - Proverbs 18:21.

Everybody has the right to be respected, even more so in a relationship. Once this is understood and practiced, love will follow.

The Bible does say, "Men love your wife and women respect your husband" - Ephesians 5:33. This is assuming that the woman already loves her husband.

Before a man and women even reach the stage of husband and wife, there are some roads they have to cross first. Proverbs 18:21 is so important here. It's really one way of telling us about coming out the mouth wrong. That's what I meant about planting bad seeds in the beginning of a relationship. There's no way around this. These are Gods word. Take it for what it is.

Ephesians 5:33 addresses those who are all ready married, and the proper way to maintain it so it can stay healthy. Proverbs 18:21 applies to everybody regardless of where they are in life.

Level 1

Since: Dec 10

East Coast

#303 Oct 21, 2013
Blaq honey wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you Hun :)
No problem.

“Creole Coated!”

Level 6

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#304 Oct 21, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
The Bible also says the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat it's fruit - Proverbs 18:21.
Everybody has the right to be respected, even more so in a relationship. Once this is understood and practiced, love will follow.
The Bible does say, "Men love your wife and women respect your husband" - Ephesians 5:33. This is assuming that the woman already loves her husband.
Before a man and women even reach the stage of husband and wife, there are some roads they have to cross first. Proverbs 18:21 is so important here. It's really one way of telling us about coming out the mouth wrong. That's what I meant about planting bad seeds in the beginning of a relationship. There's no way around this. These are Gods word. Take it for what it is.
Ephesians 5:33 addresses those who are all ready married, and the proper way to maintain it so it can stay healthy. Proverbs 18:21 applies to everybody regardless of where they are in life.
The Bible speaks of being "equally yoked"....that's where the beginning SHOULD start and end.
QBB

United States

#305 Oct 21, 2013
Black Honey -- The question asked is good and has been answered many different times for you, in many different ways, and on several threads. It is nothing short of the awareness of the golden rule and basic common sense with a healthy dose of femininity--none of which I am convinced u possess, btw. But hey, that's my opinion. If you actually do have a man, why not ask him directly what you can do for him. That will provide your best answer for your situation. Every man has his own peculiarities. Learn your man. If u ask him he will tell you.

“ News”

Level 6

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#306 Oct 21, 2013
Proud Sis wrote:
<quoted text>The Bible speaks of being "equally yoked"....that's where the beginning SHOULD start and end.
That doesn't mean forget everything in between.
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#307 Oct 21, 2013
KPITRL wrote:
<quoted text>
That doesn't mean forget everything in between.
I never said that, but solid relationships are easier to maintain when the foundation is right.."being equally yoked"....
Lisa

Tulsa, OK

#308 Oct 21, 2013
In fact.."everything in between" probably becomes MORE natural when there is genuine love and respect...Two people struggling to love & respect each other probably aren't meant to yoke together anyway....
Although many people pick random partners base on physical attraction/etc.. and then try to force a workable & lasting relationship when a spiritual bond doesn't exist between those two souls..hence the belief of "soul mates"..

“Karma”

Level 3

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#309 Oct 21, 2013
QBB wrote:
Black Honey -- The question asked is good and has been answered many different times for you, in many different ways, and on several threads. It is nothing short of the awareness of the golden rule and basic common sense with a healthy dose of femininity--none of which I am convinced u possess, btw. But hey, that's my opinion. If you actually do have a man, why not ask him directly what you can do for him. That will provide your best answer for your situation. Every man has his own peculiarities. Learn your man. If u ask him he will tell you.
I'm gonna ignore the first half but I like the last paragraph that's good advice thanks

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