**Clever/Funny Voicemail Greetings. A...

**Clever/Funny Voicemail Greetings. Any Ideas?**

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Level 6

Since: Jun 08


#1 Jul 2, 2009
I'm looking to change up my voicemail. I'm not sure if I want it to be funny, clever, or smooth. Any ideas for a fun voicemail greeting?





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#2 Jul 2, 2009

Level 6

Since: Jun 08


#3 Jul 2, 2009
Hello, you have reached the _______ family and we can not come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, phone number, short message, social security number, and credit card number and we will call you when we're done shopping.

Please leave your name, message, and when you'll be unavalable.

"If you've received this message, it means your call has been screened and thus ignored. If you still choose to leave a message, your call will be returned dependent on whether it is important or not."....*Beep*

"Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? you guessed it. Guess what's next? You guessed it..."

This call may be recorded or monitored for quality and training purposes. If you don't wish this call to be monitored or recorded, then please let the answering machine know when you leave your message.

Hi. This is Swade
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

As the drugs take hold, you feel you are losing your grip on reality. You begin to hallucinate. You see a telephone... The telephone is next to an answering machine... You hear a faint click and a light flashes on the answering machine... You hear a beep...

Level 6

Since: Jun 08


#4 Jul 2, 2009
I'm unable to take your call now, so deal with it!(beep)

im not here right now, so you have two choices. You can:
A.) Leave a message
B.) Don't leave a message
You make the decision. It's in your hands.(beep)

You know who it is, you know what to do, you know when to do it.(beep)

Tulsa, OK

#5 Oct 25, 2010
If this is my friends im at the mall
if this is my parents im doing homework
if this is my family- im playing sports
if this is anyone else you got the wrong number


Since: Jul 10

Location hidden

#6 Oct 25, 2010
Mine was:

Hello (3 second pause) I'm just joking leave a message.

I got it from somebody else. I would call 100 times and feel stupid everytime I started talking so I copied it. Now I didn't bother making one.

Lake Oswego, OR

#7 Apr 12, 2011
Haha Theses are great!!! Thanks I think I'll use some!

Scottsdale, AZ

#8 May 1, 2011
I had a wholelst of voicemail ideas i liked but when i said them aloud they didnt sound like sumthn id say
do NOT do the whle im here thing were u trick them thats been around forever
i wouldnt do this one, but u might like it.:
Go ahead, leave a message. I don't giva....
and then the machine will go beep


“...and I'll axe you back.”

Level 2

Since: Jan 11


#9 May 1, 2011
"I'm black, but I can't get to the phone right now because I'm a work."


Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#10 May 1, 2011
AxeMeAnything wrote:
"I'm black, but I can't get to the phone right now because I'm a work."
that was pretty funny axe...

Portage, IN

#17 Jul 20, 2011
ahahahhahahaa i like the 1 where go ahead leave a message i dont gove a .....(beep)

Munich, Germany

#18 Sep 7, 2011
Hi, here you get prof. voicemail and message on hold scipts : http://www.voicemail-greetings.com/script-ide...


Huron, OH

#19 Jun 21, 2012
My voicemail is of me rapping to "We Will Rock You!"

Burlington, NC

#20 Oct 4, 2012
Thank you for calling....All of our residents are busy assisting other bill collectors, telemarketers and various unsolicited telephone calls. However, you're call is very important to us and will be answered in the order that it was received. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed....If you know the extension of the person you would like to speak with, please dial it now. If you wish to access the resident directory, please press 1 now. If you wish to obtain our address so you can send us a check, please press 2 and leave us a message. If you wish to obtain our address so you can send us a bill, please press 3, do not leave message and hold your breath until someone calls you back. If you wish to borrow money from us, please press 4 and leave a message and we might or might not call you back. If you wish to request free car repairs, computer repairs or moving assistance, please press 5, hang up and try to remember how long it ago it was that you did a favor for us. If you wish to invite us over for dinner, please press 6 and leave a message with the day, time and menu If you wish to threaten, harass or otherwise cause drama or stress for us, please press 7, hang up and lose our freaking number. If you wish to speak with someone about your life and how depressing it is, please press 8, hang up, call the suicide hotline and remember to not burn your bridges next time. If you wish to help us for a change, please press 9 and leave a message....and of course, if you wish to speak to an actual person then please press 0 and hopefully by then we will have had the time to get to the phone....If you do not wish to leave a message, please press star to end this call...If you wish to bypass this greeting, please press pound....thanks for calling and have a great day.

United States

#21 Oct 6, 2012
Twinkile , twinkle little star bet ur wondering where we are well put ur mouth up to the phone and leave a message for when we get home if you can make your message rhyme we will call u back in half the time .

Kalamazoo, MI

#22 Dec 12, 2012
I used to have the automated doorbell scene from the movie, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. My greeting would start with the "Who is it?", I'd wait about five seconds, and then I'd finish up the rest of the movie scene: "Oh, I'm sorry. I can't come to the door right now. I'm afraid that in my weakened condition, I can take a nasty spill down the stairs and subject myself to further school absences... etc. I got some good compliments and chuckles out of it.
brittny hauser

Indianapolis, IN

#23 Dec 26, 2012
i say " hello. hello?....... okay seriusly speak up cause i cant hear you....... i think were breaking up. ii sdfuodfuhdsuih. sorry gotta go.

“Is He That Somebody?”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Aurora, CO

#24 Dec 26, 2012
"Sorry I'm not here right now I'm walking into spiderwebs but leave a message and I'll call you back" I wanted to use that so bad but no one who calls me would understand it lol :/

United States

#25 Jan 17, 2013
"I Dont Feel Like Picking Up My Phone So Leave A Message At The Tone Because Today I Sware Im Not Doing Anything Nothing At All"

Monroe, LA

#26 Apr 10, 2013
My voicemail is
Hello hello hello hey this is savannah leave me a message after the beep bbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepp ppppppppppppp

Everyone hates it

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