Crockett News

The H1N1 flu shots are now available to everyone over 6 months of age in Houston County.

CROCKETT The Houston County Hospital District and ETMC have entered into a letter of agreement that will set the stage for the entities to work together on projects which are part of the Upper Payment Limit Program .

Longevity pay awards totaling more than $67,000 were presented to employees of Houston County during the annual County Employee Appreciation Dinner held Tuesday night at the Good Shepherd Fellowship Family Life Center in Crockett.

As water warmed around midday, waders took steady catches of trout on muddy channel edges on Electric Chicken Bass Assassins.

Angel of Joy Lutheran - ELCA . Weekly events. 9 p.m. Dec. 20. Sunday School, 10:15 a.m. Morning Worship.

Reuters news service reported the following article by Maggie Fox:

Science may have caught up with the Bible, which says that Adam and Eve are the ancestors of all humans alive today.

Peter Underhill of Stanford University in California remarked on findings published in the November 2000 issue of the journal Nature Genetics, "Geneticists have long agreed there is no basis to race, only to ethnic and geographic groups.

People look at a very conspicuous trait like skin color and they say, 'Well, this person's so different.' but, that's only skin deep."

Underhill said, "When you look at the level of the Y chromosome you find that there is very little difference between them. Skin color differences are strictly a consquence of climate."

Butte , Montana November 5, 2007

Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez, 23, and Enrico Garza, 26, probably believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11 year old Patricia Harrington after her father had left their two-story home.

It seems the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana and Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine. Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shot gun.

Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of buckshot from the 11-year-old's knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals.

When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help could arrive.

It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim, 50-year-old David Burien, was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest.

Ever wonder why good stuff never makes NBC, CBS, PBS, MSNBC, CNN, or ABC news........an 11 year old girl, properly trained, defended her home, and herself......against two murderous, illegal immigrants.......and she wins, she is still alive.

Now that is Gun Control!

Thought for the day: Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"

Dear Mr. President: Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.

It can't get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes...

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000 (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000 (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health Human Services.

Now think about this: Guns: (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of the FBI.

So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.

Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Out of concern for the public at large, We have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!

Do you understand this? Let me see if I understand all this.... IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR...... IF YOU GO INTO CHINA ILLEGALLY, YOUR CONSIDERED A SPY AND GET HARD PRISON TIME..... IF YOU GO INTO GERMANY ILLEGALLY, YOU GET A HEFTY FINE, WORK IT OFF OR PAY IT OFF, THEN DEPORTED........ IF YOU GO INTO ENGLAND ILLEGALLY, YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY JAILED AND DEPORTED........ IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY..... BUT, IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. . BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET: 1. A DRIVERS LICENSE 2. A SOCIAL SECURITY CARD 3. WELFARE 4. FOOD STAMPS AND 5. FREE HEALTH CARE I guess I still don't understand...maybe we need to VOTE OUR LAWMAKERS OUT.

The name of the book Obama is reading is called The Post-American World, written by a fellow muslim. Post-America - The world After America ??? Please forward this picture to everyone you know, conservative or liberal to expose Obama's radical ideas and intent for this country!

Guide Chuck Uzzle reported some bird action on the south end of the lake. Waders have taken trout on the Louisiana shoreline.

Five Crockett Independent School District Advanced Placement Spanish Language students were recognized for their achievement on the 2009 exams during the Monday, Sept.

Earnest and Faye Teel of Elkhart celebrated 60 years of marriage recently. The couple were married Oct.

The Community Advisory Council of the Crockett State School will hold their first Celebrity Waiter Dinner on Thursday, Oct.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. (waiting for attack)

The sword is more important than the shield, and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human-interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him 'Why do you carry a 45?' The Ranger responded, 'Because they don't make a 46.'

6. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. 'Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?' 'No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle or a shotgun.'

7. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT !!!

But wait, there's more!

I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. I said I did.

She said 'Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!' To which I said, of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets!'

She then asked, 'Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?'

My reply was, 'No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and they are all loaded too.'

To which I'll add, having a gun in the house that isn't loaded is like having a car in the garage without gas in the tank.

Most Syrians struggle to even read Arabic, much less have a clue about reading English.

So, how do a group of Syrian protest leaders create the most impact with their signs by having the standard 'Death To Americans'(etc.) slogans printed in English?

Answer: They simply hire an English-speaking civilian to translate and write their statements into English.

Unfortunately, in this case, they were unaware that the 'civilian' insurance company employee hired for the job was a retired US Army Sergeant!

Obviously, pictures of this protest rally never made their way to Arab TV networks, but the results were PRICELESS!

This picture is NOT doctored.

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 yr. old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.

So the doctor said: 'Ok and what do you want me to do?

' She said: 'I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.'

The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady: 'I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.

' She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request. Then he continued: 'You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill the one in your arms. This way, you could rest some before the other one is born.

If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose the one in your arms.

The lady was horrified and said: 'No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child! 'I agree', the doctor replied. 'But you seemed to be ok with it, so I thought maybe that was the best solution.

The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb. The crime is the same!

1. An armed man is a citizen. An unarmed man is a subject.

2. A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

3. Colt: The original point and click interface.

4. Gun control is not about guns; it's about control.

5. If guns are outlawed, can we use swords?

6. If guns cause crime, then pencils cause misspelled words.

7. Free men do not ask permission to bear arms.

8. If you don't know your rights, you don't have any.

9. Those who trade liberty for security have neither.

10. The United States Constitution (c) 1791. All Rights Reserved.

11. What part of 'shall not be infringed' do you not understand?

12. The Second Amendment is in place in case the politicians ignore the others.

13. 64,999,987 firearms owners killed no one yesterday.

14. Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians.

15. Know guns, know peace, know safety. No guns, no peace, no safety.

16. You don't shoot to kill; you shoot to stay alive.

17. 911: Government sponsored Dial-a-Prayer.

18. Assault is a behavior, not a device.

19. Criminals love gun control; it makes their jobs safer.

20. If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

21. Only a government that is afraid of its citizens tries to control them.

22. You have only the rights you are willing to fight for.

23. Enforce the gun control laws we ALREADY have; don't make more.

24. When you remove the people's right to bear arms, you create slaves.

25. The American Revolution would never have happened with gun control.