Jesus

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Siloam Springs, AR - Jesus

Picture of Jesus posted in the Siloam Springs, AR gallery

Picture posted by Mr Sam on Nov 25 '11

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Sarah

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#1
Dec 8, 2011
 
But during Bush’s tenure, I started hearing the more than occasional remark about how not believing in God makes you a bad American and if you were a LIBERAL that didn’t believe in God? Scum of the Earth!

Wait a minute. Not believing in God (or, more precisely, not believing in a very specific version of God) makes me a bad American? How does that even work? This country was founded on religious freedom and the explicit separation of Church and State, wasn’t it? And that’s when I became acquainted with Republican Jesus.
Sarah

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#2
Dec 8, 2011
 
Who the hell is Republican Jesus?
Sarah

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#3
Dec 8, 2011
 
Republican Jesus is very different than the Jesus you and I are familiar with. First off, he is White. Not just white, but White. Republican Jesus has a special place in his heart for America. Specifically, White America. Do you doubt this? Ask yourself why anyone who believes in a colorblind Jesus would even conceive of praying for the death of Obama? No, only those who follow Republican Jesus would even think that such a prayer could, or should, be answered. If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Republican Jesus, by the way, is a big supporter of the Confederacy. Why he let them lose the War of Northern Aggression is a mystery. But all “real” Americans know that the South will rise again and Republican Jesus will lead the way back to glory. Or something like that.

How the Northern and Mid-western Red states fit into this Southern revival is also a mystery.
Sarah

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#4
Dec 12, 2011
 
Republican Jesus loves guns. Loves them! Never mind all that silly talk of beating swords into plowshares! Every good member of the church of Republican Jesus should have, at minimum, enough armament to hold off an invasion by those commie Nazi liberal hordes that are coming any day now. Or the ATF, whichever shows up first. Or maybe just enough to wipe out a schoolroom filled with kids when their excellent parenting skills manifest themselves in the next Columbine tragedy.

Remember, conservatives, to complain about anti-bullying programs being government overreach afterwards!
Sarah

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#5
Dec 14, 2011
 
Republican Jesus loves the rich. Ignore that whole “camel through the eye of a needle” garbage. Republican Jesus wants you to be prosperous! It’s called “prosperity theology” and it percolates throughout the conservative religious fervor. God rewards the faithful with material wealth. Very spiritual stuff. If your idea of spiritual is a McMansion.

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